IT'S A GIRL!!!!!

We're having a girl! SOOOO EXCITED.  Everyone keeps saying, "But you wanted a boy" or "But you thought it was a boy" so I am going to clarify.  Some/most of you are going to think this is crazy but nonetheless I'll try to explain what goes on in this peculiar little brain of mine.  I'm not super stitious... but I am a little stitious. I am however a big believer in the JINX.  This is how wiki defines jinx.. The superstition can be referenced when talking about a future event with too much confidence. A statement such as "We're sure to win the contest!" can be seen as a jinx because it tempts fate, thereby bringing bad luck.  So this is pretty much how I live my life.  In most everything I do, I remember my good friend JINX.  If my husband wants to go to dinner but I'm working that night I'll say, "Just go without me, I'll probably be the last one cut."  By saying that I somehow reverse the jinx and will be off in time for dinner.  Sounds simple right? WRONG.  What if I bring something cute to change into after work? JINX KNOWS!! If Jinx sees me bring a change of clothes then I will not be off work in time to go to dinner.  In middle school I would get invited to go to a friends house after school.  I would call my mom to see if I could go and just ride the bus home with them.  Mom wouldn't answer and then I would have to make an executive decision.  I thought well if I'm not allowed to go to their house, then I'll be in a lot of trouble because someone will have to come get me.  I would go home and ask my mom if I could go to my friend's house and she would say, "You should have just rode the bus home with her because I don't have time to drive you over there." JINX at his finest!  Sports? I can not pay attention to an entire game but when the last quarter hits and my team is up by 25 and I start cheering, they somehow lose the game. Even if I don't cheer vocally, Jinx knows my thoughts.  They can tell.  The first election I pay attention to and watch all the debates, my guy loses. JINX KNOWS WHAT I WANT!!! I don't know how they do it, but it's freaky.  There must be some weird makeup in my DNA that allows Jinx to access my mind. Anyhoo, my "friend" Jinx has been around since before I can remember so I've found ways to outsmart him.  I'm sure he's already reading this so after this, the jig is up, but it's fine because I like to think that I won this round.  So I've ALWAYS wanted a little girl.  I'm a girly girl.  I like bows and tutus and all the ridiculously cute accessories that no baby really needs.  When I was about 16 I realized that if I wanted a little girl someday I would have to do some SERIOUS mind games with Mr. Jinx.  From that day on I NEVER said I wanted a girl.  I usually would say I want 3-4 boys.  Boys are fun.  Boys are cute.  I've been saying that for almost 7 years now.  I haven't even said to Braden that I wanted a girl,  NOT ONCE.  One thing I've learned about Jinx is that he finds humor in you having to "explain" yourself later.  For example, if I were to say, "We're moving to California next summer."  He would find a way to make sure I didn't move to California next summer so everyone I told would say "Wait I thought you were moving to California" and I would have to say "wellll..." and explain our change of plans.  Obviously my first step was to vocalize that I REALLY thought it was a boy.  I put it on my last blog post, when people would ask what gender I wanted I would always say, "I think it's a boy."  When we told our parents we were pregnant, I bought little boy shoes and a basketball binki.  The other thing Jinx likes is to be inconvenient.  Just like I said earlier, if I bring the cute change of clothes to work, I'll end up working late and miss dinner.  This one was tough but I had a plan.  I decided to register my baby at Target and made EVERYTHING for a baby boy.  Boy bedding, boy stroller, boy carseat, EVERYTHING.  It was all thought out too, color coordinated down to the last bib.  I only looked up boy names online and in baby books.  I've called Harper "him" from the day I found out I was pregnant. When I went to my ultrasound to find out the gender, my 9 year old sister Bailee came with me.  The whole time I kept saying "Bailee look at his cute toes or his cute little fingers."  Finally the ultrasound tech said, "Well I'm 1000% sure what it is, would you like to know?"  ummm would I EVER!! When she said my baby was a girl, my world seriously stopped. I was speechless. I just started sobbing and she handed me the box of tissues.  She laughed and commented on how I kept calling her, him.  I just kept saying "CAN YOU BELIEVE IT BAILEE!!?"  She wasn't phased by it at all and said she knew the whole time that it was a girl.  We drove straight to Braden's work and he came out and I told him.  He wanted a girl so he was so happy.  He immediately was like are you ok, are you excited about it being a girl... It never occured to me that he had NO idea that I wanted a girl.  I told him why I never could tell him that I wanted a girl and he once again rolled his eyes and just said that he was happy I got what I wanted. OBVIOUSLY if we were having a boy I would still be thrilled to death! The little boys in nursery with me are my FAVORITE.  They always want to just snuggle with me and tell me they want to marry me someday.  OF COURSE I would love a little boy, but I am so.. happy and humbled and blessed that I get my little Harper in a little less than 6 months.  Mandi:1 Jinx:0 :)

It's Baby Time

I'M PREGNANT!!!! I can't even express how excited we are and how nice it feels to finally tell everyone.  I'm going to use this post to share about this crazy adventure up to this point.  I am WARNING YOU NOW, some of it is not going to be pretty.  If you are thinking about having a child or can't handle watching Grey's Anatomy, TURN AWAY NOW! Where to begin... ah the beginning of course! Braden and I have been married about 3 years now.  We got married young and very quick, so I knew I wanted to wait a little while before we had kids.  I also am the second oldest of 7 children and have a very realistic view on what having kids is like.  I would always hear newly married people say, "I am SOOO baby hungry.  I just want a little baby to dress up and snuggle with at night."  I wanted to roll my eyes and say, "Oh is that what babies do these days huh.  You do know that baby is going to change your life.  You will always have a little human dependent on you.  You can't just run to the store when you need to get something for dinner.  You are going to have to pack a diaper bag, switch the car seat from the other vehicle, grab the stroller, pack an extra onsie in case they poop up the back, bring the box of cheerios, spill the box of cheerios, clean up the box of cheerios only to find after you have done so that they have tipped the kitchen garbage can over and are playing in last week's lasagna that went bad..Ya you're right, a baby tots def sounds fun."  OK a little dramatic but all you moms out there understand.  Being a mom is not easy, it takes so much work but it is the MOST REWARDING JOB!  I always told Braden that I didn't want to have a baby until I was DYING to have a baby and poor Braden has been ready to be a daddy for a while and has been so patient with me.  We had been talking this summer about starting our family sooner than later but weren't quite sure when would be the right time.  I never thought Braden and I would have a conversation like this because I always assumed I would get pregnant with a honeymoon baby, but lo and behold, our plan has worked for us.  We were blessed with an adorable nephew July 24 and went to the hospital to see him.  While holding him for the first time I looked up at Braden and it was like he could hear the small voice whisper to me, "It is time."  I felt 100% ready and excited but had to remind myself that it could be a long road to actually getting pregnant, something that I had already given much thought to.  I had always told myself that I would rather be dying to have a baby and it take a couple years for me to get pregnant than to just suddenly get pregnant and feel nowhere near ready for it.  A couple weeks later I was driving with Braden to Walmart and I said, "Braden, my boobs are HUGE.  Maybe I'm pregnant, because the last I checked, you don't get a growth spurt like that at 22."  I was most DEFINITELY joking.  I didn't think I was pregnant but it was too late, I already said it.  Of course Braden wanted me to take a test.  We went home, I took the test, and he told me not to look at it without him.  This wasn't the first time I had taken a pregnancy test so I knew the routine.  Wait 3 minutes, tell Braden it had been two minutes, run back and peek at the test to prepare him for a negative result, he comes back looks at the test and says, "Well I don't know why we're bummed about it, you're still on birth control", we laugh and go about our day. So I started the routine, I tip toed back to peek at the test... two lines... check the box.. two lines=pregnant... check the lines, check the box, check the lines AHHHH the emotions-"MANDI! are you looking at it without me??" I had no words, just silence.  He said, "Are you pregnant!?!"  I said, "UMMM come back here and tell me what you think."  He looked and sure enough I was.  We sat on the couch in excited disbelief.  I couldn't believe it.  For some reason I always assumed I would have a hard time getting pregnant, but thankfully I inherited my mom's extremely fertile genes.  He kept asking me if I was excited but I didn't think it could've happened that fast and easy and told him I didn't want to get my hopes up in case the test was wrong.  Then all of a sudden I start BAWLING! I realized I would have to face something that I have been terrified of since the day someone told me what is was, AN EPIDURAL.  I know, I know, it's music to a woman in labor's ears, but to my sweet little ears I just hear "You'll basically be wanting to die at this point so you don't even care that it crushes through your spine, and there's a chance they'll stick it in the wrong place but you'll know and they can just do it again." ... WHAT!@#@$@#$!#%^&&*(!@!! Oh is that all? Braden just started laughing and patted my back and said "You are definitely pregnant".  The next day I took 2 more test, both positive.  The next day just one test, still positive. I told Braden that I still couldn't believe it and would probably have to take a test every day for proof. The next day I threw up 8 times, that was enough proof for me. From that day on I have thrown up AT LEAST 5-10 times a day.  (it's about to get graphic so don't say I didn't warn you!) On a good day for me I would throw up about 5 times.  I would wake up, run to the toilet, get ready for work, barf before I leave, barf on my way to work (about a 30 minute drive), barf before lunch, finally feel like I could eat something around 2:00, eat 1/4 of a kids meal (if that), barf before I leave work, and usually be good when I got home and could just relax in my lazy boy all night.  That was a good day,  I won't go into detail about what a bad day entails. I was consuming about 300 calories a day.  At 9 weeks, I had lost 10 pounds. I called the nurse and she prescribed B6 and unisom, which I assumed she would.  I can't swallow pills but she told me (just like what everyone else says about every pill) "They are not hard to swallow, they're not big at all."  I have a tiny throat and have never been able to swallow pills.  When I was younger I had surgery to get my throat stretched and a pipe the size of my pinky ripped my throat, trust me, my throat is small. So I get the pills, chopped them all up to a size that I can swallow and 45 minutes later, I'm done.  It would take me so long because there were now about 20 tiny pills and each one I would swallow and then talk myself out of throwing it up.  It was rough.  What was even harder was that I was seeing no results from them. I called about 5 days later and spoke with the same nurse.  I said, "I want to die."  She chuckled and said, "Oh no sweetie, are you still not feeling better? What's wrong?"  I again repeated, "I want to die."  10 minutes later I had a prescription waiting for me at the pharmacy.  I read the directions for my dissolveable pills that said "Take 20 minutes before you start chemotherapy."  FINALLY!! Someone understood how sick I was.  Those pills have helped a lot, I only throw up 3-5 times a day.  I am still nauseous all day but I am at least keeping some food down. I am SO thankful for medicine, glad I live in a time when we have it. 

My First Dr. Appointment
I was very excited for this appointment. The nurses were so friendly and helpful.  They gave me a pregnancy test and then the doctor came in.  He said "Well is this good news?" I thought to myself, oh good that must mean I'm pregnant for sure (because throwing up over 300 times in the last 9 weeks wasn't proof).  I told him yes and that my husband and I were VERY excited.  He asked how long we had been trying and told me to congratulate Braden when I told him 24 hours.  He slapped some goo on my stomach and did the rolly thing just like you see in the movies.  He showed me my baby's head and little toes and printed the picture.  The nurse then came in to draw my blood. I have never weighed enough to donate blood before and had never really given much thought as to how exactly they get the blood out of you.  She told me they had to fill up 5 containers and that it would just pinch a little in the beginning.  It did.  I counted backwards slowly in my head from 10.  She wasn't done.  Did it again from 20.  Still wasn't done.  She kept saying "How are you doing".  I don't know if I responded.. maybe that's why she kept asking.  All of a sudden everything is blurry and I remember saying "I feeeeel weirrrr"  Next thing I know I'm laying on my back checking out the ceiling.  Maybe this is why little people shouldn't give blood.  She gave me some juice and told me I could stay as long as I liked and told me her story about giving blood the first time.  She was about my size and wasn't able to donate until a couple months ago.  It was nice just drinking my little box of apple juice and listening to her story,  I just wanted to stay there all day. All of a sudden my eyes are frantically shifting for a garbage can, she must have noticed because she grabbed the one in the corner and said have had it. 
EMOTIONS
HOLY TOLEDO my emotions are all over the place. It is seriously hilarious.  My first incident was crying over my epidural, the second was the next week.  I went to bed a couple hours before Braden and was fast asleep.  Braden got in bed and itched his ear... For SOME reason I thought he was holding on to our bed rails and shaking the bed as HARD as he could!  My heart leaps out of my chest and I kept saying STOP! Why are you trying to scare me?  He had to calm me down and explain that he had simply itched his ear.  He just patted my back and said "Being pregnant is hard huh?" I woke up enough to laugh about it and went back to sleep.  The next night I'm laying in bed and once again, there he goes holding on to the bed rail and shaking our bed as hard as he could.  I started crying again and said "WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME MAD!??  You're trying to scare me on purpose!" Braden once again had to calm me down and explain that he was laying on his right side and had simply rolled over to his left... boy oh boy.  We laughed again and went to sleep.  A couple weeks later I was down for my brothers football game.  It was an incredible game that was delayed 90 minutes total because of lightning and went into TRIPLE overtime! It ended up being over 4 hours.  They finally ended by beating a team with a 20-0 winning record.  When the final play happened and Hurricane fumbled the ball, Desert Hills fans are storming the field, parents are screaming, everyone was so excited.  Braden looked over at me to find me once again... Sobbing.  He chuckled and said "Are you so happy that Branden won?" I looked at the ground and somehow stammered "I am happy that they won but I feel so bad for that boy on Hurricane's team that dropped the ball, he will never forget that moment." Braden couldn't stop laughing at this one.  I knew I was being a little ridiculous but still couldn't control my emotions.  Once again he would just respond with, "Being pregnant is hard huh".

 Apologies

I feel like I owe 1000 apologies.  My first apology goes to 3 little girls in the Target bathroom I threw up in front of.  I am sorry you had to see that.  I'm sorry to the family in the white suburban that had to be stuck in traffic right next to me for 2 HOURS and had to watch me throw up in a bag MULTIPLE times.  There were probably 5 little kids inside the car with their faces pressed up to the glass just watching me with sheer terror on their faces.  I could just hear their mom yelling "WELL THEN DON'T LOOK!!"  I'm sorry you guys had to see that.  I'm sorry to the sweet nurse, front desk lady, and other pregnant women in the waiting room at the doctor's office.  I'm sorry to the group of young women that had to listen to me vomit for 5 minutes when I thought the bathroom was empty.  In my defense, I did wait til I heard a door shut and no talking before I started, I then walked out to find them SILENT and pretending to wash their hands. I was so humiliated.  I'm sorry to everyone who's house I've been to in the last couple months because there's a 99% chance that your toilet and I have become acquainted.  I'm sorry to the Victoria Secret worker who watched me throw up in the little perfume testing sticks garbage cans and then helped me back up after I had passed out.  I am NOT sorry to all the customers in line who just watched me the whole time and never offered to help. I am most sorry to whoever sits at the desk on the other side of the girls bathroom at my work, I would hate me if I was you.

This pregnancy has been tough to say the least, but I am already beginning to learn what you sacrifice to be a mom.  Not a day went by that I didn't barf my brains out and cry before I left to work but guess what, still had to go to work.  It's the same with being a mom.  Just because you feel deathly sick doesn't mean you get a day off.  You still have the responsibility of being a mother and you never have a day off from that.  This is my struggle and if it means I can have my sweet baby when all is said and done, it is worth EVERY second.  I REALLY REALLY think it's a boy, which I am SO excited about!  Braden tries to remind me that it's a 50/50 chance but I told him even the Chinese calendar said it's a boy, to which he rolls his eyes and says he's not going to waste his breath trying to explain to me why I shouldn't trust a Chinese gender prediction calendar. Boy/Girl/Squirrel, whatever it is, I just hope they are healthy.  I am SO excited for this next chapter of our lives!! Cannot wait to be parents :)

p.s. if you made it through this entire disgusting/dramatic/depressing novel, you are my true friend 

 Telling my mom and dad they are going to be grandparents!

 For Halloween, I dressed up as a pregnant woman.  This is how I decided to tell my friends. One of my friends said, "Are you really pregnant and this is how you're telling us?" I said "YUP!" They were taken a bit off guard.  I had to stop by Walmart before the party and was congratulated 3 times and they all asked how far along I was.  I liked their reaction when I would say 13 weeks :)